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Anti-Squirrel Hand Pies with Apples

Don't let the squirrels eat your apples.
Don’t let the squirrels eat your apples.

Editor’s Note: This post is not about getting rid of squirrels. If that is what you are looking for, you’re in the wrong place. Though if you find a good method, be sure to let me know.

I don’t know which story to start with first: the one about the State Fair or the one about the squirrels. Let’s start with the squirrels, because that is really where my endeavor begins.

We live in the lovely city of Minneapolis. I have lived in several other states, and have come to realize that Minnesotans live in the forest. Great emphasis is placed on keeping a diversity of tree species maintained on our boulevards and lots. Because of this, there is also an abundance of woodland creatures who have urban lifestyles. Sometimes I come home and it is like a scene from Bambi: rabbits all over the yard, squirrels scampering off, birds taking flight. Even foxes and the occasional deer. But it is the squirrels who are particularly frustrating, because their adaptation to city life is disturbing. Besides the fact that they eat our garbage and make it very difficult to compost, they also raid gardens and fruit trees.

We planted an apple tree several years back. The squirrels have always eaten the apple or two that the tree fruited. But this year was different and held much promise: there were at least three dozen apples! But as summer marched on, we noticed the numbers dwindling and half-eaten apples strewn on our yard. Last week there were ten left. Yes, it was early, but if we didn’t intervene there’d be none. So the kids and I picked the apples with plans to make apple pies with them.

Now for the State Fair part of the story. Like all good Minnesotans we spent a day at Minnesota’s Great Get Together. For the 10 days that the fair is open, all you hear about is the food. Typically, I just binge on salty and sweet foods like beer-battered deep-fried cheese curds and the real-milk milkshakes. But there are stands that sell actual food, and we wanted the kids to eat real food, so we tried some out.

While eating, what rang through my skull was the obvious challenge it must be to feed hundreds of thousands of people (quickly), and how premium ingredients are not important. Vendors produce wonderful-sounding creations, but when you take a bite there is no magic. Honestly, it’s like at weddings where they use elaborate phrases to describe green beans and an overcooked chicken breast.

So when I decided to make my apple hand-pies (which are very trendy now…though this is my first time making them), I piled on the premium ingredients: starting with the Honey-Crisp apples picked from the tree in our yard (organic, of course), Rochdale hand-rolled butter, vanilla bean and Ceylon cinnamon, with a touch of cardamom. I even used Meyer lemons for the juice. I thank goodness for The Wedge Co-op, where getting a real vanilla bean and Ceylon cinnamon from their bulk section is hardly an investment (maybe $3 for both?) and the hand-rolled butter costs the same as regular butter.

The two other fabulous components of this recipe are the crust and the quick-cooking tapioca. If you follow the instructions exactly, the crust will be beautiful and crumbly. The quick-cooking tapioca sets the filling better than any cornstarch or flour I’ve ever used.

Making Apples Hand Pies

Apples Hand Pies

2 cups flour
2 sticks butter (1 cup)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1-1/2 tablespoons ice-cold water
1-1/2 tablespoons high-proof vodka, cold
1-1/2 pounds apples, peeled and diced
1 vanilla bean, scraped and beans reserved
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon quick-cooking tapioca or cornstarch
2 teaspoons Ceylon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cardamom
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice, freshly squeezed
1 egg, lightly beaten
Sugar, for sprinkling

Make the crust. Mix the flour and salt in a bowl. Cut or shave the butter into tiny pieces. Place the butter in the flour and roll the bits with your fingertips until the butter is all broken up and the mix is uniformly crumbled. Add the water and vodka and, again, mix with your fingertips until it is evenly distributed. At this point, you should be able to push the dough into a ball and it should stay packed. (If not add another tablespoon of ice-cold water, mix to distribute, and try again.) Cover tightly with plastic and pound into a disk. Let it rest for an hour on the countertop if making the pies right away, store in the refrigerator if you need it later. Let the dough come to room temperature before rolling it.

Cook the apple filling, then let cool. Place all the filling ingredients in a saucepan, including the reserved vanilla beans (but not including the egg, fyi). Cook over medium heat. Using a wooden spoon, mix with effort so that the vanilla bean and spices get distributed evenly. Cook until the apples are softened, about 15 minutes. Let cool completely before using.

Preheat oven to 400° F and roll out the dough. Roll out the dough to about 1/8-inch thickness. Cut the dough out into 4- or 5-inch disks (the size of a teacup saucer). Put a spoonful of filling on one half each disk. Make sure there is at least a half-inch margin of dough on the outside. Then fold the remaining half over the top, so you have a semi-circle. Gently press the edges of the disk together and use your fingers or a fork to smoosh the edges together. Basically, you want to seal it tight. Brush the beaten egg on top and sprinkle with sugar.

Bake. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Space the pies evenly apart on the baking sheets and set in the upper and lower third of the oven. Bake for 35 minutes, or until the tops are golden brown and the filling is bubbling. Place the pies on cooling racks and let rest for at least 15 minutes.

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A New Grocery Delivery for the Twin Cities

I bring you Homegrown Foods, a novel meal planning and grocery delivery service in the Twin Cities where foodie meets kid-friendly. This business is an effort to make cooking incredible meals fun and easy. To take the stress off of our collective plates, and bring some inspiration and fun to preparing dinner. As a mom of three small children (4, 2-1/2, and 6 months), I know how hard it is to put dinner on the table. But we’ve been recipe-testing for over a year and let me tell you, we’ve been eating goooooood.

Well folks, now all the paperwork is in order and we are ready for you.

This business started over a year ago when I first heard about the idea from my brother-in-law, who lives in Sweden. He and his girlfriend were trying the service Linas Matkasse (there are several there, Middagsfrid was the original) where customers sign up, then enjoy regular delivery of preportioned groceries for specific recipes. This conversation was on the heels of all the moms discussing the woes of figuring out what to make, going to the store, figuring out what goes with what, and how they just want to give up. Like every other mom, more than once I have lamented, “Why do I even bother?!” Except I love to cook and that is what keeps me going.

Like, I really love to cook…I’ll take cooking over cleaning any day (cleaning makes me grumpy). So when I heard the idea I thought, wow, that is a great service. Too bad nobody is doing anything like that here. I’d love to not have to worry about what next week’s menu is. With three small kids, it’d be a blessing to get to pass on grocery shopping half the time. Somebody should do that idea… I should do that idea!

And so here we are, offering to make grocery deliveries containing four dinner kits for $8 per person. The cornerstone of Homegrown Foods is great recipes and great ingredients. I am sort of a snob when it comes to ingredients. If there wasn’t love put into producing that food item, I probably am not going to love it back. I’m gonna make sure you love your groceries. I want to bring you ingredients as if I was shopping for my own family, getting them from local, organic, artisinal producers as often as I can. Also, I am a stickler for authentic ingredients. Be it kaffir lime leaves or chorizo, you will need to substitute (or do without) no more.

Each menu is composed of four dinners: a poultry, meat, vegetarian and seafood dish. If you are a couple, this should cover you for at least a week. If you are a family of four or five, about a week. (If you are six or more, you may want to have some extra grains or lettuce mix on-hand.) The menu changes every other week to take advantage of seasonally delicious ingredients.

The recipes are from a variety of sources and are only included on the roster if they are amazing and relatively fool-proof. I dislike recipes where if one component is off, the whole dish fails. I’ve also taken the time to provide several cooking methods. Because we live in Minnesota. That means we grill in the summer and run the oven (or slow-cooker) in the winter. These recipes produce dishes that’ll make the neighbors’ noses itch with envy. I guess that is my litmus test: the kitchen should smell divine and everyone come running to the table for dinner.

– Aleks Till